I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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