i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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