the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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