My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
