I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He felt like a one man threesome
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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