that's an acceptable place to lick
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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