when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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