do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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