What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
