i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
