nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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