There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The struggles of a small town man whore
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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