how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
