she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
