Soap is not a condiment
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
