I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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