i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
