Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
The adults are the big ones right?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
