I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
