This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
