I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
