Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
