I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
