i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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