dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
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in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
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bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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