Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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