As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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