bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize