I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
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