I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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