like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
