Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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