But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
