Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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