Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
