This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
