is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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