Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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