she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i just had sex bonerless
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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