The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
