she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
