Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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