I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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