That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
