Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
So many bounce houses so little time
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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