Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
