turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
