There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
