She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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