quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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