i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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