That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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