it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Randomize
