It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
