They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
She needs sedatives and a leash
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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