True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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