YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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