I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
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something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
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I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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