Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I would fuck him just for his dog
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
