I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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